Non-sobriety poetry hour #2

it's frighting
to feel like I'm exploding in every direction
even though I'm directionless
helpless
hopeless
homeless

I want to swim to the bottom of the ocean
have the pressure collapse me
break my bones
crush my lungs
have my head pop open
literally
not metaphorically
for once

I want someone
to comfort
to support
to hold me and say "this is not forever"
I want this to be me
but every time I hold myself my chest screams
so loud I can't hear the words

I don't want to need anyone
but I need the ocean
I need a place to plant my two feet
where the world isn't spinning madly on it's axis.