Hands, roam over curves like wind over waves,
I stand in the water shallow,
up to my knees, up to my chest,
breathing inches from the water

and darling I can't swim in this ocean,
so I hope you can
grab onto my hand and we'll float on our backs
breathing inches from the water

the shore keeps ebbing away
but that's okay so long as I can
hold you hand in mine
and look into your eyes
and stay an inch above this water

and so the ocean drains
feet sink into sand
darling lets start walking
miles above the water,
breathing

FURNITURE!

MY NEW APARTMENT!

my little bedroom

right outside the bedroom

The "Living room"

the kitchen

the edges are blurred but there are shapes to be discerned.

spin,spin,spin,stop.
,wobble,fall,stand,fall.
spin, spin, spin, stop.
can't. spin, spin, more more.
spin, spin, spin faster.
shoe stumble knee crumble.
spin,spin,spin,spin,spin,
CRASH. I've always liked the taste of cooper.
lie on my back.

still spin spin spinning

I WISH YOU'D GIVE ME A SIGN, THAT YOU MISS ME.
THAT YOU THINK OF ME LIKE I THINK OF YOU.
OFTEN. INTENSELY. SMILING.

Built a fortress
or pilllows and sheets
of paper and boxer briefs
build it on top of the hole
the one that started out small
but every careless tug and pull
have made it grow wide and deep
it's a good foundation
a hole
fall back into it
flat on your back or chest down
holding a pillow like a person
that doesn't hold back
but we have the fortress
sturdy, soft, simply.
fortitude

Today was okay. I keep having to tell myself that like I'm convincing someone. But I do, have to convince. I'm not used to it yet, feeling okay.I'm so used to grasping I hardly know what to do now that both my hands have a firm grip. The world isn't spinning so fast, the edges are blurred but there are shapes to be discerned.

click this

Non-sobriety poetry hour #2

it's frighting
to feel like I'm exploding in every direction
even though I'm directionless
helpless
hopeless
homeless

I want to swim to the bottom of the ocean
have the pressure collapse me
break my bones
crush my lungs
have my head pop open
literally
not metaphorically
for once

I want someone
to comfort
to support
to hold me and say "this is not forever"
I want this to be me
but every time I hold myself my chest screams
so loud I can't hear the words

I don't want to need anyone
but I need the ocean
I need a place to plant my two feet
where the world isn't spinning madly on it's axis.

non-sobriety poetry hour #1

Why do I feel like I'm yelling into silence
Every thought,action,word
Circle around the ceiling
Spinning above my head
I want someone to spin with me

I want you to hear me when I scream
I want you to scream back
I want you to hold onto me
Because I feel like I'm Rolling away

Hold me from a rope
It's weak and weary
But so am I
If I hold back real tight
It should carry me for a while
I'll flap my arms
Swing back and forth
The rope strains
Will I fall?

I'll try to fly
But I'm not a bird
I'm a magpie
And you're so shiny